Impermanence

I recently looked back at my life and I saw how I had agonized over so many decisions, trying to make the "right" decision. The lesson for me was to learn about "impermanence". This is a term Genpo Roshi uses to describe the way reality is. I was treating all of my decisions like they were carved in stone. Granted some decisions have long-term consequences but I was treating all of my decisions as though they were "permanent" and I had huge concerns that they would be the "right" decisions forever. I finally got that this is a recipe for unhappiness and ultimately a life of misery. So why did I do this? Well there were a number of dumb reasons; the biggest was that I just wanted to be "right”. Another reason had to do with "looking good" to others.

So what if I take a contract that doesn't work out? All I need to do is just do my best and move on, learning what there is to learn. Forget about what others think. This is not a failure. To my huge surprise, when I take responsibility regardless of the outcome and have done my best people love and respect me for it.

So what if I start a relationship that only lasts a few months or weeks or even days? Again, here too, all I have to do is be honest about who I am and take responsibility for what I do. I get now that there is so much value in every experience. When I offer to be in relationship with you, I am just offering to do my best in every moment I spend with you. I don't know what the outcome will be. I know there is something valuable in the experience of relating to you if we are willing to put having that experience beyond looking for the "right" result and accept life, as it truly is, "impermanent".