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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Friday, June 15, 2012

Just say No

I made my way to the center of the overpass and stationed myself on the North side right over the fast lane above the North bound traffic.  It is the beginning of the afternoon rush hour and all lanes are “moving well”.  I figured that, if properly timed, the lead driver will not be able to avoid running over my body which would plummet to the pavement right in front of his vehicle.  The trail of tailgaters behind him would certainly finish the job.  I did not want there to be any chances of my survival.  I did not think much about the mess it might cause and the high likelihood that I might take others with me as I contemplated the end of my wretched life .  Today I was going to just focus on myself for a change.

“ Well, That seems like a very effective plan.”  I heard a voice say.  I turned but there was no one there.  So began my conversation with God.

“Yes, I am pretty capable and clever.”, I said “I have spent a lifetime taking care of others I said with in air of smugness.”

“And how’s that going for you?” God asked.  

“Obviously it’s not going very well or I wouldn’t have wound up here.”  I replied.

“I’ve been waiting for you for quite a while now.”  God said.  “I knew you would eventually wind up here.  I have a suggestion for you.” 

“And what suggestion would that be?" I asked skeptically.

“Just say No”. God replied.  “I know you thought you were doing the right thing by accommodating others but you neglected some one very important in the process and you know who I am talking about.”

Yes, I did know who it was. I had neglected myself.  I had believed that if I did the “right” thing for others that I too would be taken care of by some sort of magic I guess.  But obviously that plan was flawed.

“That’s right” God said “It doesn’t work that way.  Others will only feel love for you when they see how much you care for  yourself.   They don’t even know how to love others until someone shows them how by loving themselves. You know when you have sold out and sacrificed your values and your own needs when you should have just said No.”

“I can’t see how that something so simple could help.”  I said.

“It’s just a suggestion” God said.  “I am not attached to what you do.”

“You mean you don’t care if I jump off this overpass or not?    You mean you weren’t watching me so you could come to save me?” 

"No, let’s just say that I just  happened to be in the neighborhood.  There is no need to save you. You will eventually learn the lessons you need to learn.  Sometimes it is necessary to spend your whole life just learning one simple lesson.  It doesn’t even have to be learned this lifetime either.  After all I am God you know, so I have a lot of patience."

"Well, I guess you are right.  There is nothing in my life that I want any more.  The one thing I really needed I never got. Everything that I worked so hard to get this lifetime is just “material stuff” and just a burden to me now." 


As I walked back to the house I considered God’s suggestion.  I still could not understand how it could make a difference but I was resolved to try it.  After all, I had nothing left to loose at this point. 

She met me at the door with an indignant expression on her face.  “Where have you been all this time?” she demanded.  “You have no right to just wander off like that.  I insist you tell me where you are going and when you plan to return whenever you leave the house. Now, are you going to respect my wishes or not?"

I just said “No”. 


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