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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Attached to Nothing

It is so frustrating when life doesn’t go the way I want it to. There is this feeling that there is so much to do and I have to be so intensely focused or things will get even more out of control than they already are. Of course, there are always some things I try to convince my self aren’t so serious. But it seems like more and more really important things are getting out of control no matter how much effort I make.

It is like I am sitting behind the wheel and I began to notice that I am drifting to the right so I have turn the wheel to the left in order to get back to the direction I want life to go. And then I begin to notice that I am drifting to the other way so I have turn the wheel in the opposite direction in order to correct my course again.

This was so tiring that eventually I decided to try something new. I decided that when I begin to notice that life is taking me in one direction or the other I would just gently turn the wheel in the direction that life is taking me.

At first it seemed crazy, but then, pretty soon, I began to notice that my life was becoming easier and less frustrating. Most of the awful things I thought would happen if I did not control them, just never seemed to materialize and the ones that did, so what.

Also, I noticed that I was going down some unfamiliar roads that took me to some new and interesting places where I would never have gone before. Despite all my previous concerns about things getting out of control, eventually I had to admit my trip through life was getting more and more pleasant and exciting. I realized, that before, I had been so attached to the way things “should” be that I couldn’t just enjoy the ride.

It was then I noticed something really odd. I could take my hands completely off the wheel and begin to just watch as my life unfolded before me. At first it seemed as if I had no say whatsoever in the way my life was going. A lot of people in my life were certain I had lost my mind and maybe they were right. I began to notice that not only was I still going to new and interesting places, but also, now something absolutely inexplicable was happening. I had begun to trust that I am being taken care of and realize that my job is really just to be open to infinite possibility and enjoy the ride.

Many of the details that I had previously thought were so important just disappeared from my consciousness. I have finally begun to travel through a new kind of territory in my life.

Before me now there appears a landscape that is continuously created by the love and joy I feel in my heart, rather than a landscape that must be tediously navigated by a steering wheel that has always been attached to nothing.


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